Megan Fox is the dumbest celebrity ever ?

The Daily Mail has a very funny and very sad story today. The title of this masterpiece of modern journalism is “Hollywood stars say the silliest things: She may be a movie beauty, but is Megan Fox the DUMBEST star ever?” As you can imagine, someone at The Mail was as flabbergasted as we were when reading some of the ridiculous interviews Megan Fox has given over the past few months. So they decided to put together all of Megan’s dumb quotes in one epically terrible article.

I have to admit, some of these quotes are new to me. Probably because Megan gives about twenty bajillion interviews a week, and she loves to talk about how beautiful, cool, edgy, gross, sexy, dark and hardcore she is, and sometimes some of her gems are lost to us. I’d like to thank The Mail for doing us this great service:

Megan Fox has amazed fans with her ignorance as she travels the world promoting her movies with red-carpet comments and magazine interviews.

She’s quite happy to discuss drugs, sex and even flatulence but take this example of her discussing her ‘Brian’ tattoo - dedicated to on/off boyfriend Brian Austin Green. She said: ‘I wouldn’t regret the tattoo if we weren’t together. I can always have a kid and name him Brian. There are options.’

MailOnline has trawled through two years of clangers to provide an insight into her ‘wisdom’.

During a recent interview with American magazine Entertainment Weekly, Megan questioned her mental health, saying: ‘I think that I’m so psychotic and so mentally ill that if I could tap into that I could do something really interesting.’

Among her more controversial comments is her call to legalise cannabis. She told British GQ: ‘I hope they legalise it and when they do I’ll be the first f***ing person in line to buy my pack of joints. People look at it like it’s this crazy, hippy, f***ed-up thing to do. And it’s not. I hope they legalise it.’

She told FHM last year: ‘I really enjoy having sex, and that’s offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women slags, which is sad. I haven’t met a lot of men who’ve said, “You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!” That’s because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more sex with them.’

Megan makes no attempt to hide she is aware of her good looks, declaring: ‘Well, I’m clearly not ugly.’

She also told the June issue of Elle: ‘I’m just really confident sexually, and I think that sort of oozes out of my pores. It’s just there. It’s something I don’t have to turn on.’

She told Esquire: ‘I don’t want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson, who I have nothing against, but I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I’ve ever learned to prove, like, “Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.”‘

Moving from Scarlett to Britney Spears, Megan admitted she felt sorry for the singer. She said: ‘I used to sit back and think, “Please, Britney Spears has the best life ever - she has everything she could ever want!” But she has one of the worst lives. Her life is a living f***ing nightmare. I have panic attacks thinking about her life.’

In the Entertainment Weekly interview, Megan criticises her performance in the first Transformers movie - despite the fact she is supposed to be promoting the sequel. She said: ‘I’m terrible in it. It’s my first real movie and it’s not honest and not realistic… Unless you’re a seasoned veteran, working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience.’

Discussing a possible third Transformer movie, she counters: ‘I can’t s**t on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s a*s. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting.’

Further disparaging her industry, Megan told GQ: ‘When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes. We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who’s not their partner. It’s really kind of gross.’

Two years ago, Megan offered up too much information she revealed her questionable hygiene habits. She told FHM: ‘I’m horrible to live with. I don’t clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. Friends will tell me, “Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and didn’t flush.”‘

At the Golden Globes in January, a brutally honest Megan told a E! News reporter exactly how insecure she was sharing the red carpet with A-listers like Kate Winslet, Jennifer Lopez, Angelina Jolie and Cameron Diaz. She said: ‘I am pretty sure I am a doppelganger for Alan Alda. I’m a tranny. I’m a man. I’m so painfully insecure. I’m on the verge of vomiting now. I am so horrified that I am here, and embarrassed. I’m scared.’

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Megan Fox hates America

While Megan Fox flaunted her stupid awesome breasts during the international tour for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, she apparently decided to shit all over the American flag by wearing some sort of toga at the LA premiere last night.




At this point, my heart goes out to the lone soldier who bravely completes his mission so we can live in a country where Megan Fox's cleavage sells tickets to a movie about GM vehicles beating the fuck out of each other. You will not die in vain, sir! Not on my watch. Get Michael Bay on the line.



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Denise Richards in a bikini

Here's Denise Richards in Maui with her kids this morning. Anyone else get the feeling her daughters live in perpetual fear of getting doused with hot coffee because mommy can't focus on the camera and hold a cup at the same time? I'm also pretty sure they're the only preschoolers who know to pop a Xanax when Denise gets a call on the road. "Aw, shit, it's her agent. Helmets, everyone!"


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Chris Brown ducks jail time in plea deal

Chris Brown avoided jail time today after pleading guilty to the felony assault of Rihanna on February 8. She was at the courthouse to testify if the plea deal wasn't accepted. CNN reports:

Under terms of the agreement, Brown will serve five years of probation and complete 180 days of community service.
Los Angeles Criminal Court Judge Patricia Schnegg said Brown could apply to have his supervised probation transferred to Virginia, where he maintains his legal residence. He also can complete his community service there, she said, but it would have to meet the court's standards.
"I want Mr. Brown treated as any other defendant who comes to this court," Schnegg said.
Brown must also undergo domestic violence counseling, she said. But the judge noted he has no prior criminal record.

Well, now that this debacle is officially over, the important thing to remember is at least the message wasn't sent to Chris Brown's young fans that it's okay to beat your girlfriend because you probably won't go to jail the first time.

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Shauna Sand completely topless

Here's Shauna Sand in Miami realizing she has to up the ante to keep the paparazzi focused on her because, seriously, who the fuck is she? Also, the occasional nip slip and non-stop wearing of bikinis is getting predictable as hell. At this rate, the only thing interesting Shauna can do is raise the lost city of Atlantis out of the sea. Then flash her tits at it.


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Gisele Bundchen Looks Good in Blue

Gisele Bundchen was at a launch for a new Pantene haircare line and ended up flashing the crowd a little bit of blue underwear awesome. What I think happened is someone told Gisele that her underwear was showing, so she pulled up her shirt to look. Hmmmmm, I might be able to use gullibility for evil. Hey Gisele, I think I saw an ant crawl into your bra, you better take it off. Is that a rash? You may be allergic to denim, best lose those jeans too. Actually, just strip down to nothing, I read a study that said clothes might give you cancer and it's just not worth risking it. Trust me, I'm a pretend doctor.


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Katie Price has a lot of bikinis

Katie Price continued her calendar shoot in Ibiza today, and it's comforting to see she'll never stop posing like Barbie's sister who didn't quite make it in Hollywood yet somehow claims to be an "actress." Then why won't she let us see her movies? Or come over during the day? Life's so mysterious sometimes.


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